


He's Back in Town

by DarkenHeart (Lexa)



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:51:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexa/pseuds/DarkenHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone comes back to L.A.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Back in Town

_so let them say it's wrong  
for me to love you._

He's staring at me as he sings. That's what I'm telling myself at least. He's doing the good singer bit of picking out people in the crowd to look at, but I had that he was only looking at me. Not that he could have been. I was in the darkest corner of the club, the candle on the table blown out.

_The way that I do when we kiss_  
When we're close like this

I don't know when he got back into town. I just received word one night that he was at the hotel. We had overhauled the hotel, making it into a working one. Between Wesley's spells, Fred's tech, and Gunn's lawyering, it was one of the busiest places in town. My little visit to the Furies hadn't hurt either. Lorne turned the ballroom into a club, using it for his local talent searches.

I was walking past it when an impulse made me go in. The last business deal of the day had left a bad taste in my mouth. Went for a long walk, didn't even realize what direction I had gone in til I was standing outside it.

Lorne's assistant ran the day to day business of the new club. For once he knew enough not to try and talk to me. He just sat the drink down and walked away. I glanced up at the stage, wincing as I saw it was open mic night. The club had different showcases every night, bands looking to get discovered. But Lorne made sure that one night a week stayed the same old karaoke routine. I immediately tuned everything out and looked down at the table.

So I don't know what made me notice someone walking up to the mic with a guitar. Or why I didn't leave when I realized who it was. I should have, just walked out. I mean, come on. The last thing I needed was seeing Lindsey McDonald

But I didn't. Something made me stay and listen. Not that I need another reason to hate him. As he tuned his guitar, I finished my drink in one shot, signaling for another. I thought back to the first time I had heard him. I know I can't sing. Angelus was the one who could of us. He wasn't the greatest, just had the confidence to pull it off. But he was nothing compared to Lindsey and I knew it. So I had bitched about his singing to try and drown him out. Didn't work, heard every word and how good he was.

Now he was going to sing something else and I wasn't drunk enough yet. But I sat there and watched.

I almost broke the glass from holding it so tight. He was singing a love song. That made me look away. Love, that was a fucking joke. What the fuck did he know about love? How could he, when he could actually let himself feel it? Be on the outside, watching people connecting in a way you never can, then you can talk to me about love.

Darla. I'm not surprised she had let him live that night in the wine cellar. The surprise was that she didn't turn him. I don't flatter myself, supposing that she didn't think he was a good enough replacement for me. She had to have seen something in him.

Maybe the same thing that I see in him. That darkness inside him. A darkness he's accepted, but hasn't lost himself in. Lilah had it, but she never wore it as easily as he did.

My mind starts to wander when I finally get up to leave, throwing the money on the table. It doesn't even register that he's already left the stage. I walk back to the firm, just barely paying enough attention in case something felt like starting something.

Angelus had been getting louder lately. With all the evil we were facing every day, and not being able to just out and out kill it, it was starting to wear on everyone. Fred was finding things in her lab that had no other purpose but to destroy or hurt. But the tech part of it keep pulling on her. Same for Wesley and the library. And Gunn...well, we know about lawyers, don't we? Lorne seemed the one who was keeping it the most together, but sometimes I had the feeling that he kept so busy just so he didn't have to think about what he was doing, and why.

The firm was slowly poisoning us, just like the senior partners must have figured it would. I thought back to the elevator ride with Holland. About the angels and devils in everyone. Comes with having a soul. Lindsey knows how to handle that, he never seemed to have the problems I did. He was able to walk away after all.

The lobby is empty, not even the cleaning crew is around. I stop for a minute, wondering how I got myself here. Did I really think we could do any better by fighting from the inside then we had been doing on the outside? Or was I so desperate to give Connor the chance he should have had, that I was just looking for any straw to grasp? Was it even about Connor? Maybe I was just looking for an excuse, a reason behind anything I might end up doing. Like I said, Angelus was getting louder. Only now he was starting to make sense.

I start to walk up the stairs to the labs when I hear singing coming from my office. I don't have a radio in there, so I'm halfway to the door before I recognize his voice.

I grab the door handle, ready to throw him against the nearest wall for coming here. Then I realize what song he's singing. I open the door and slowly push it open. He's sitting on my desk, arms wrapped around himself. His eyes are closed as he finishes the song, only opening as he does the last line and looks right at me.

And I know why he's here.

He walks over to me, humming the song now. I find myself backing away from him, til I'm trapped against the wall. I try to hide in my anger.

"What the fuck, McDonald. You looking to get killed?"

He doesn't say anything. Just stares at me. I shake my head.

"No, I can't. I have to...there needs to be...someone..."

I freeze as his hand lifts up to touch my cheek. He's so warm. I have to fight against leaning into his touch.

"There is. Let him."

My eyes widened as I realize who he means. Spike. Spike who fought for his soul, so he could have the girl that I walked away from. Penn's words flash in my mind. Spike who beat me for the goblet, knowing the misery that would come down on him. Spike who wanted it more then me.

"But they chose me."

A smile crosses his face. We both know how helpless that is. I close my eyes. For so long I held on to that dream, even when I thought I had given up on it. Part of me still needed to work for that. At first it had been in hopes of getting Buffy back, giving her what she needed. I winced at another reminder of Spike.

I can feel myself growing weaker. Lindsey must have to, cause he's leading me to the couch. But memories of Eve and that party make me shake my head. I pull him back to me.

"So what then? What do you think is going to happen?"

Another one of those smiles. "No, I don't think you'll kill them. Think only one person is going to die." His hand is back on my cheek. "We've got all night. Do what you have to do. I can wait." He sits on the arm of the chair, just watching.

I stand there, then walk to my desk. I hesitate as I reach for the phone, but only for a minute. The calls take less time then you would think. The power of Wolfram & Hart.

I put down the receiver with a sigh. I've set it up. Money and resources for the others. Time enough for them to get away from here. I shake my head. From me.

In a rush, I step from the desk, grab his hand and pull him to my elevator.

My head falls forward as I push the button to take us to the penthouse. I don't even feel the tear running down my face til he wipes it away. I look up with a start.

"It's time. You're not giving up, you're accepting. It's what you were supposed to be. You know that. Been getting harder to fight it, hasn't it? Don't mean you'll be going back to how it was before. It won't be." He shakes his head. "Not like in Sunnydale. You already know that."

By now we've reached my room. The curtains are closed. I had planned to sleep in the next day and I'm still not use to the sun being in my face, so I had closed them before I left. There is no light in the room. I start to call them on, but change my mind. I reach for him in the dark, my hands on his waist. He looks up at me, even thought his eyes can't have adjusted already. I can still stop this. Just shove him back into the elevator and go back to what I know.

But is it what I still want? After all this time, after all the broken promises and the cosmic jokes. Do I still want to?

I'm not the only one anymore.

He just waits for me, letting me take my time. His hands rest on my arms, moving just a little.

"What makes you think it's you?"

The smile fades. "Either way. If you hate me, when you kill me won't that be enough? And if you-"

He doesn't get to finish the sentence. I pull him to me, my mouth over his. I lift him up and carry him to the bed. Only when I feel him fighting for air do I pull away. I undress us both, not taking any care to not rip the clothes. When I lean back down he pulls me onto the bed and lays on top of me.

He looks into my eyes, his hand once again on my cheek And this time I do lean into his touch. Then he starts singing. And he is looking right at me. Not letting me look away. Then he kisses me.

That's when the pain starts. Tearing thru my stomach. I push him off me, rolling off the bed onto the floor. I curl up, choking back the screams.

I open them to see the boy still on the bed. Faster then he can see, I grab him. My hand is in his hair, forcing his head back. "So, tell me. What are you getting out of this?"

I drink in the fear in his eyes, but there's something else as well.

"I-I came here earlier. They know I'm back in town."

I watch his tongue dart out, licking at his lips.

"If you-" He closes his eyes, head turning to the side as much as I let him. "Figure me dead on your desk would be enough of a sign."

I study him. "It would. But I have something else in mind."

Before he can react my teeth are in his neck. I shudder as the blood flows down my throat. Sooo long. Having to deal with Himself, to be finally back. But not like before. He was right in that.

I can feel him trying to fight, so I pull him closer to me. Have to pay attention. Been so long since I'v dones this.

Almost too late I push him away. Slicing at my neck, I force his face against me. "Drink Lindsey." After a moment he starts to drink. I feel his heart beating slower and slower til it's no more.

I lay him back on the bed. "You'll be laying across my desk alright, my boy." My hand goes thru his hair. "And it will be a sign, be sure of it. But I have need of you. You're mine now."

I go to the phone, meaning to change all that Himself had done. But I stop. Why not? I remember when I was out the last time, the fun we had. Instead I leave a message for Harmony. Telling her to make sure no one bothers me.

I look back at my boy as I dress before walking to the elevator. He needs new clothes, and someone for when he wakes up.


End file.
